Clothing Sensory Issues & Your Child

Clothing sensory issues can cause your child to struggle with clothing. Kids who struggle with clothing sensitivities often have difficulty adjusting to brand-new clothes. In this article, you’ll hear a story about how I ultimately learned how to deal with this challenge and how these ideas might help you.

Hi! My name is Jackie, and I host the HomeSchool ThinkTank Parenting Podcast. On my podcast and video channel, we talk about homeschooling, parenting, and mindset. I’ve also shared an episode that is about my experiences as the mother of a child who has clothing sensory issues.

• Watch my video about parenting a child with clothing sensory issues.

I know I’m not alone with kids who are picky about their clothing, so I thought I’d share this story. If you feel frustrated by trying to find clothing that your child will wear, I hope this article helps you.

What Are Sensory Processing Issues?

Before we dive into how to deal with and help a child who has sensory processing issues, let’s talk about what it means to have a sensory processing disorder.

Sensory processing issues occur when the brain has difficulty interpreting signals from the senses. This can lead to difficulties with activities like getting dressed and handling the sensation of textures, such as clothing materials, on the skin.

These issues can also be accompanied by behavioral problems such as anger, tantrums, and withdrawal. Understanding sensory processing issues can help you support your child by providing activities that address their specific needs. In addition, your understanding of this special need can help you assist your child with their clothing options.

Please note that sensory processing disorder can present in other ways, too. For example, your child might be a picky eater, have difficulty with noise, or be bothered by bright lights. However, in this article, I specifically address the challenges that some kids have with clothing.

Do Your Kids Have Sensory Issues with Clothing?

Have you ever heard these words from your child?

• It doesn’t feel right!
• It itches!
• It’s too tight!
• I don’t like it!

Hearing these words can be frustrating when you just want your child to get dressed.

If this scenario sounds all too common, then keep reading.

Watch This Video If Your Child Has Clothing Sensory Issues

Do You Feel Like Your Child Is Ungrateful When You Get Them New Clothes?

Have you ever felt like your child is ungrateful when you bring home new clothes for him or her?

Do you ever feel embarrassed by your child’s behavior when you’re trying to shop for new clothes or shoes? Does your child exclaim, “I DON’T LIKE IT,” to every item you hold up? Does your child immediately want to remove any new clothing they try on?

If you’ve experienced these feelings or your child has exhibited these signs of clothing sensory issues, you aren’t alone.

While sensory problems with clothing might not be the first thing you want to talk about when you get together with friends, believe me, there are many parents and children who are struggling with clothing sensitivities like this every single day.

It Took Me Years to Figure Out How to Deal with My Daughter’s Clothing Sensitivity Issues

When my daughter was young, she had some clothing issues. For her, new clothes weren’t exciting, they were stiff, scratchy, and, well – new.

My youngest daughter preferred her older sister’s hand-me-downs. However, when her older sister started wearing out her clothes, and there weren’t many hand-me-downs, our problems around clothing were exasperated.

It literally took me YEARS to figure out how to handle this problem effectively.

If you have a child who is easily agitated about how their clothing feels, I hope the method I stumbled upon will work for you, too.

Parenting Kids With Sensory Clothing Issues

Before I proceed, I’m going to preface this by acknowledging that if you don’t have children who struggle with sensory issues, this might seem absolutely ridiculous.

Some people will say, “That child needs to be put in her place.”

I completely understand. As a mother, I’ve had these feelings myself. However, there is a point when you realize some methods don’t work with some kids, so you must do something different to get a different result.  

If you don’t have a child who has difficulty with change, loud noises, or clothing that doesn’t fit right, feel free to hop on over to our blog.  However, for those of you who won’t judge and can understand this parenting dilemma, please keep reading, this just might help you.

Sensory Problems with Clothing: Itchy, Scratchy, Too Tight Clothes

Have you ever done a potato sack race? Can you recall how the burlap sack felt scratchy?

I think we’ve all tried on a pair of shoes that were too tight and didn’t fit right. When you try on uncomfortable shoes, don’t you want to get them off quickly?

If your child is truly having challenges with clothing, this is probably what new clothes or shoes feel like to him or her. For kids who struggle with sensory issues, clothing is often too tight, scratchy, and just doesn’t feel right.

Also, some kids balk at nearly anything new and anything they aren’t used to, including new clothes. So, while new clothes might seem great to you, for your child, new clothing might be an unpleasant experience.

For kids who struggle with a sensory processing disorder, clothing can be problematic, and as a parent, this can cause you a lot of angst. So, let’s talk about how to deal with this conundrum.

The First Step to Peacefully Shopping for a Child Who Has Sensory Issues with Clothes

Like most parents, I simply shopped for my daughter when she was very young. However, as she got older, I tried to shop with her. Quite frankly, this was mostly miserable for all of us. At times, shopping with my daughter was downright embarrassing.

It was very difficult to get her to try clothing or shoes on, and she “hated” nearly everything. As soon as she tried something on, she would exclaim that it was too itchy or too tight. Really, there was a nearly 0% chance of her liking any new clothing.

Throughout her elementary years, shopping with my youngest daughter was too difficult for everyone, so for the most part, I quit doing it. Instead, I shopped for her alone, bought the clothes, and brought them home.  

So, the first step toward purchasing clothes for a child with clothing sensitivity is to Shop for Your Child: Not with Your Child.

Plan on Returns when Shopping for Kids with Clothing Sensitivity

After realizing that I should shop without my daughter and simply bring clothes home for her to try on, I learned three more overarching lessons.

1. That she would initially “hate” nearly any article of clothing or any pair of shoes.
2. To give her time (maybe weeks) to decide what was comfortable enough to wear.
3. Returns were inevitable.

Once I realized that I should always plan on returning clothes that my daughter didn’t want, I started buying multiple sizes of whatever I thought she might eventually like.

I was uncertain about the clothing purchases that I made for my daughter 100% of the time. The only certainty was that I would be returning some clothes and that we had developed a process for purchasing new clothes.

I’ll share the complete process in a moment.

Accepting That My Child Has Clothing Sensitivities and Having Compassion

You never know if a child who struggles with change and sensory processing issues will eventually accept the choices you’ve made about their clothing, and this can feel frustrating. However…

It’s important to accept, rather than resist, the uncertainty of choosing clothes for your child who has clothing sensitivity. By accepting the reality of your circumstances, you will have better experiences as you help your child with clothing options.

Acceptance of the situation and compassion for your child will positively impact you and your relationship with your child. Try to understand that your child didn’t choose to have clothing sensitivity and that they are struggling. This will help lead you toward compassion.

Parenting a Child With Clothing Sensitivity: Shifting MY Mindset

Ultimately, I realized that when I presented my daughter with new clothes, we went through the same process nearly every time. Once I realized this, I was able to eliminate most of my frustration and emotion from the process of getting new clothes for my child.

I simply knew the process and what to expect. I also came to realize that my daughter wasn’t just ungrateful, she truly found lots of clothing uncomfortable and was actually very slow to warm up to new things.

Over the years, I ultimately realized that my child had sensory processing issues. For her, getting new clothes was not a pleasant experience.

Our Process For New Clothes: Here’s How I Minimized Clothing Issues

When you’re reading the list below, take note of the bolded lines. The bolded lines are WHAT I DID. The lines that aren’t bolded, are what my daughter did.

1. I bought new clothes for my daughter.
2. I presented the new clothes when I was in a state of mind to deal with the negative response that I anticipated my child would have.
3. My daughter looked at the new clothes and hated them.
4. I calmly said, “Alright, they’ll be on the dryer if you change your mind.”
5. A day or two later, my daughter would go get the new clothing off the dryer look at it, hate it some more, and return it to the laundry room.
6. Mostly, I learned to be neutral in my external response (even though I felt irritated inside).
7. A few days later, my daughter would get the clothes again, try them on quickly, hate them some more, and return them to the washing machine.
8. I maintained neutrality in spite of wondering if I was raising an ungrateful child.
9. Eventually, my daughter would try them on again, wear them for an hour or so, hate them some more, and return them to the laundry room.
10. I learned that having a “Whatever” attitude was the only way to get through this. My thought was something along these lines, “Of course, this is hard for my daughter. Eventually, she will get used to some of the new clothes, and I’ll return what she doesn’t like.”
11. The process kept repeating itself until my daughter was used to some of the clothes and just wore them.
12. I eventually returned what my daughter wouldn’t wear.

It’s important to note that in the situation above, I could have responded in various ways. There was a time when this situation would have left me feeling incredibly frustrated. However, over the years, I learned how to manage my mind better and, therefore, responded better.

Life Coaching & Parenting with Jackie

If you’re a parent who is struggling, I get you. I’ve been there, too. I’ve always felt like I’m a good mom. However, parenting a child who has sensory processing issues or other special needs can challenge the best of parents.

Please hear me when I say, “You are not broken. Your child is not broken. There is hope.”

After years of struggling with my own emotions, I started diving deep into mindset work. Learning how to manage my mind better had such a deep and positive impact that I went to Life Coach School and earned my Life Coach Certification to better help parents like you.

I’ve worked in a Nationally Accredited Daycare, I have my teaching license, and I have taken many parenting classes and read numerous parenting books. While all of that has been helpful, nothing has been more helpful on my parenting journey than learning how to manage my mind better.

While I specialize in coaching homeschooling parents, you can sign up for individual coaching with me regardless of whether or not you homeschool your kids.

When you work with me, I can teach you how to manage your mind. In my opinion, learning how to manage your mind better is the single best thing you can do for yourself and your kids.

Podcast Episode: Understanding Sensory Issues with Clothing

Tips For Getting Your Child Sensory-Friendly Clothing

For some kids, getting brand-new clothes and shopping is fun. But for kids who struggle with clothing sensitivities, trying on new clothes and shopping can quickly lead to sensory overload. Here are some of the best ways to help you find the right clothing for a child with a unique sensory system.

• Shop without your child. The large volume of clothing choices, people, and bright lights can easily overwhelm children with sensory challenges.
• If you must shop with your child, go during the store’s quieter times. Stores can be overwhelming to kids with sensory processing issues. Call the store to find out when their quietest times are and plan to shop during those hours.
• Look for soft clothing. Find clothes with soft fabrics, soft seams, and flat seams.
• Get hand-me-down clothing from friends, cousins, and the thrift store. Clothing and shoes that have been gently worn aren’t as stiff as new clothes and will be more comfortable for a child with clothing sensitivity issues.
• Find pants with elastic waistbands. This is more comfortable than pants with buttons and zippers.
• Purchase seamless socks and underwear. If your child’s undergarments have seams, they may prefer to wear them inside out.
• Look for comfortable bras. Adolescent girls with clothing sensitivity will prefer a wireless bra or sports bra. Look for breathable fabrics and natural materials like organic cotton. Be aware of bra straps and closures, as some irritate people with clothing sensitivities.
• Figure out what type of shoes your child likes or tolerates well. Click here for more information about footwear for kids with autism or sensory processing disorder.
• Consider purchasing clothes in a slightly larger size than your child needs. Tight clothing is often irritating to children with clothing sensitivities.

Sensory-friendly pieces are the softest and most comfortable clothing available.

Why Brand-New Clothing Is Difficult for Hypersensitive Children

For many years, my daughter wore hand-me-downs. While I realized she sometimes struggled with clothing, it wasn’t until I had to purchase her new clothes on a regular basis that her clothing sensitivities became a bigger problem. With hindsight, I believe that I now understand why my daughter’s clothing issues were exasperated when I purchased brand-new clothes for her. These lessons might apply to your situation, as well.

Here’s why I think NEW clothes are difficult for kids with sensory processing issues.

• Feel: New clothes are often stiff, tight, and itchy. Hand-me-down clothes and shoes are broken in and softer. Therefore, they are more comfortable for children with clothing sensitivities.
• Difficulty with Change: Parents often get new clothes and want the child to wear their new clothing shortly after purchasing the items. However, children with clothing sensitivities frequently have difficulty with change. It can be helpful for a child who struggles with change to simply have new clothes in their dresser for a while so they get used to seeing them and have the opportunity to try the clothing on several times before wearing it for an entire day.
• Pressure: Children who have sensory processing issues might also struggle with feeling pressured. If they feel pressured to like and wear brand-new clothes, they may resist the items.
• Overwhelm: Kids with sensory processing issues are even more prone to be overwhelmed than the average child. If you bring home too many clothes for a child to try on at once, they may feel overwhelmed. When this happens, indecision and angst may take root, and your child could have difficulty choosing anything.

After Purchasing New Clothes for Sensitive Kids…

Once you bring the clothes home, be prepared for your child to resist their new clothes. Remember, some kids don’t like change, and new clothes are different. For kids with sensory clothing issues, the clothing you just purchased might also feel stiff, scratchy, and too tight.

• Give your child plenty of time to try on new clothes. Simply leave clothes in your child’s bedroom to try on when they feel like it.
• When you purchase brand-new clothes, consider washing them a few times before your child wears them. This will help soften the clothes and make them more comfortable.
• Give your child time to get used to new clothes. Hang new clothes in the closet or put them in the dresser several days or weeks before your child must wear them. This will give your child time to get used to the new clothing.
• Remove clothing tags. Sensitive children often find tags irritating.
• Purchase seamless clothing or clothes with soft seams. As with tags, children with clothing sensitivity frequently find seams irritating.
• Expect your child to dislike most new clothes and shoes. Kids with sensory processing disorder often don’t like new things or change. Not only are new clothes and shoes stiff, but they are different. Your child needs time to get used to new clothes.
• Manage your own emotions. Before presenting new clothes to your child, expect resistance. Be ready to allow your child to have their own emotions. You want to keep your own mind in a good and calm place. Try to understand that your child is doing the best they know how to do.

These tips and strategies took me a number of years to figure out. They came from my own experiences. I hope these ideas can save you a lot of frustration and heartache.

p.s. Learning how to manage my own emotions while raising a child with a sensory processing disorder has been the most helpful skill that I have developed. As a certified life coach, I can help you, too.

Sign up for a free consultation here.

A Final Thought About Clothes Sensory Issues and Kids

Let’s end with this thought.  Imagine that someone told you what you should wear each day.  

I imagine my mother coming over to my house, looking in my closet, and saying, “Jackie, I really love how you look in that dress.  You are going to wear that today.”  I would probably think, “I don’t want to wear that dress today.”

Geez, I might even throw a fit if my mom insisted that I wear that dress. Why? Because I prefer to wear my comfortable yoga pants.

The lesson is this: Try to put yourself in your child’s shoes and understand that they simply want to wear clothes that are comfortable. In reality, none of us want to wear clothes that feel irritating. So when your child is giving you grief over clothing, try to drop into compassion and understand that your child doesn’t want to give you a hard time. They are simply struggling to find clothes that are comfortable.

Learn more about coaching for parents.

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